Dearly Beloved
by Shashasha
Summary: This is a sequel/companion to my other story, John's Fifteen. It takes place three years after John's Fifteen. Amy and Ricky, their son John and Amy's daughter Jenny are going to become a family.
1. Chapter 1

Jenny was dancing.

Flying!

Today was going to be the best day of her life. She paused in front of the mirror to adjust her hair. While the dress she was wearing wasn't something she herself would have selected, it had made her mom's eyes swell with tears in the fitting room.

While she was only thirteen, much younger than the rest of the bridesmaids, she was her mother's favorite, obviously. Ashley was the maid of honor, just like she had been at her mom's other wedding.

"But I didn't exist then so it didn't count!" Jenny had told her mother when they talked about her first wedding.

Now it was Amy's second wedding. To the right man, Jenny thought. She was finally marrying Uncle Ricky.

Jenny did feel bad for her real father, Ben. But he had always been distant. Uncle Ricky was who she really loved.

And today, he was going to be her stepfather.


	2. Chapter 2

Jenny was sniffing as she walked down the aisle. Here it was, the day her mother was marrying Uncle Ricky! She was trembling with excitement, and she gripped her bouquet tight. Ricky winked at her and she surprised a smile.

Amy came walking down the aisle, looking so, so beautiful in her baby blue dress. She had refused to wear white.

"I wore white when I married Ben, and look where that got me!" Amy had laughed to Grandma when they were dress shopping. Secretly, jenny felt hurt. Hadn't she resulted from that marriage? Was she still good enough, or was she just a sorry reminder of an ill-fated marriage, a love gone wrong? But Amy had told Jenny, just the other day, "Jennifer, you listen here and you listen good. I'm marrying the man I should've married, but don't you ever, even for a second think I wish I never had you. I love you Jenny, and nothing will ever change that. I might, I'll _probably _have another baby with Ricky. But I won't love it anymore than I love you. I love John and you the same and I won't change that for any baby I have." Jenny had loved her mother so much in that moment, she could have cried.

Amy was at the front of the church now, and now the minister was talking.

"Dearly beloved…"

Ashley came over to Jenny and squeezed her shoulder.

"Didn't your mom look so beautiful, Jenny?" Jenny nodded, relief welling through her that nothing had gone wrong, her mother was now Mrs. Underwood, well not technically, Amy had kept her name.

Jenny wrapped her arms around Ashley.

"Was she this happy when she married Daddy? Be honest. I can handle it. I'm a woman," Jenny whispered.

Ashley chuckled, one of her five year old twins running over to her and grabbing her leg.

"She was happy, Jenny, but she looked more relieved than happy that day. I can't describe it. But I know she's so happy to be marrying Ricky." And then Ashley scooped up little Gus and they walked off. Jenny went off to find her brother.

John was sitting next to his girlfriend, Samantha, when Jenny walked over. She instantly felt a wave of embarrassment. She couldn't interrupt! But Samantha waved her over eagerly and Jenny sunk into a chair at their table.

"Mom looked so happy," Jenny whispered.

John nodded, "Man, it's every kid's dream to have his parents married. Too bad I'm an adult now."

Samantha chuckled and Jenny gave a weak laugh. Samantha always intimidated her. The blonde girl was so beautiful, so funny and so… experience. Jenny always felt like a toddler next to Samantha. It probably would've been easier if Samantha was a total witch, but she was very nice and always smiled at Jenny and let her hang out with her and John. They had been going out for only a year, their entire senior year of highschool, but they were going to go to the same college.

Jenny kind of hoped they would get married.

Jenny crawled into bed at her Dad's house that night.

Amy and Ricky, mom and stepdad, were on their honeymoon. They were spending a week in San Diego. Ben had been invited to the wedding, but hadn't gone.

"Damn hurtful," she heard him mutter when they were drinking an evening cup of tea.

"Mommy looked so pretty in her dress," Jenny whispered. When she used immature words it made her seem smaller, more innocent.

"She looked pretty when she married me," he said, "But that's in the past, so whatever." He had grumbly got up from the table and set his mug on the counter. He had paused in the doorway, "Good night Jenny. I'm sure you made a lovely bridesmaid."

Then he had walked off to his room leaving, Jenny to put herself to bed in silence.

Jenny was worried, staring up at the ceiling. She saw her mother taking advil before she left, "just a headache, didn't get much sleep last night, Jen Jen!" her mother had said laughing. But Jenny saw something else in the lines around her eyes.

Maybe!

Jenny shot up from bed.

Maybe her mom was already pregnant! With the idea of a new brother or sister in mind, Jenny blissfully fell to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: **The first few chapters of this story are going to move quickly through time, but they will slow down soon. Don't worry!

They were back from their honeymoon and Jenny felt strangeness in the air. Her mom had been looking a lot thinner recently. At first Amy said it was pre-wedding jitters, she had eaten bad shrimp in San Diego, blah blah. But Jenny kept seeing her take advil and every day it seemed Amy got thinner and thinner, and her face looked pale and scared.

"Aren't you happy, Mommy? You married Ricky. You married your true love," Jenny whispered to her mother, a crumpled heap on the bed she now shared with Ricky.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," whispered Amy.

"Are you pregnant?" Jenny had wished for this since they got married a month ago. Oh please let it be true!

Amy sighed, "Maybe."

"We should get you a test!" whispered Jenny, "Oh Mom please! Please!"

Amy shrugged off the afghan and wiped her sallow eyes.

"Ok, let's go to the drugstore," Amy said softly. Jenny squealed and grabbed her mother's hand. She pulled her to the car, and Amy got in. Watching her mother maneuver around, Jenny saw with a chill how bony Amy was looking.

"Mom… you need to eat more. You're all skin and sticks," Jenny said in horror.

"I do eat," Amy said, energy rising in her voice, "I've got to be pregnant, that's why I've been feeling so off."

They drove the 1.3 miles to Walgreens silently. Jenny wasn't sure what to say, and Amy wasn't sure either.

This was kind of awkward, Jenny though, watching her mother scour the family planning section. She crossed her arms and pretended to be engrossed in some reading glasses. What if someone from school saw her here and thought she was the pregnant one?

She watched her mom come out of the aisle, her shopping basket holding three little boxes.

"I want to be really sure," she said, smiling shyly. Jenny grabbed her mom's arm and happily led her to the checkout.

"Well?"

Jenny looked up from the magazine she had been pretending to read. She had been waiting for her mother to tell her the news.

Amy blushed, "Oh we knew it all along, didn't we Jenny?"

Jenny shrieked and hugged Amy.

"This is the best news ever!"

She saw Amy slyly grab the cordless phone and dial a familiar number.

"Hello? It's Amy. Is this a bad time? Ok, good. Well. Guess who's going to be a daddy?"

Jenny heard a loud gasp coming from the phone, and then Amy was gushing, "I know! I know! I'm so happy too! I love you, Ricky!"

It was Jenny's first day of eighth grade. Her mom was 13 weeks pregnant now, on September 5th. Jenny sat on the school bus, remembering the day they found out. How happy Ricky had been when he came home, and how they had told John. There was still a nagging feeling in her gut, the feeling that she was going to be replaced. John was Amy and Ricky's son, their full, 100% son, and the new baby would be too. Jenny only belonged to Amy. She wasn't Ricky's at all. Would he still love her, when the baby came?

And there was another thing nagging at her too. Her mom seemed sick all the time. Not just the morning sickness, she always looked pale and thin. Jenny hoped it would go away.

But a thirteen year old couldn't fix the world, Jenny knew, so she leaned her head against the cool glass of the window and waited for eighth grade to begin.


	4. Chapter 4

Jenny came home to a quiet house. Her mom was at an appointment with the midwives, she was four months along now. Ricky was at work and John was at college. He house was silent. Still.

Jenny grabbed some carrot sticks and hummus for a snack and sank down in front of the TV. She looked around the room as her tired legs stretched out in front of her.

Baby supplies were slowly trickling into the house. Amy had gotten rid of many of the supplies she had for Jenny when she divorced Ben. There were still lots of clothes. Boy clothes and girl clothes from John and Jenny.

*

"We're going to have a surprise baby," Amy and Ricky had told Jenny the other day, "We're going to paint the nursery in soft yellows and greens." Jenny was secretly disappointed, but she felt like it was a girl. She had confessed that to her mom that very morning over breakfast.

"Mom, I know that you and Ricky don't want to know the gender, but I hope it's a girl, is that bad?" Amy had chuckled in response.

"Don't tell your brother this, sugarplum, but I wanted him to be a girl. I didn't want boys, actually."

Jenny's eyes widened, "But you like love him now, right?"

"Oh of course!" Amy laughed, "Of course! I love that he's a boy. I'm just telling you, it's not wrong to want a girl."

Jenny felt relieved.

*

Now, leaning against the couch and looking at the few boxes that had come in the mail, Jenny felt a twinge of excitement. She had never even held a baby before, and now she was going to have a little brother or sister!

Jenny knew that the baby was going to be so loved. It would have it's Mommy and Daddy of course, but John and Jenny, well, at least Jenny, would be amazing siblings. Amy had only been two years older than Jenny when she had John, Jenny realized. And only a freshman. Jenny was an eighth grader.

"Mommy would be a hypocrite if she didn't let me help out a lot!" Jenny whispered to herself, using a word she had recently learned. She fingered the fringe on the afghan beside her, smiling, waiting for Amy to come home.


	5. Chapter 5

Amy was eight and a half months pregnant the day she didn't pick Jenny up from school. Jenny had stayed late to take a test, and her mother never showed. Distraught, Jenny called home several times but to no avail. Worried, she called a neighbor.

"Hello? Mrs. Winchen? My mother isn't here to get me and she won't answer the phone. You know she's pregnant? Yes. Would you mind— oh thank you!"

A few minutes later, a weary Amy called Jenny.

"I'm sorry, Jenny, I'm so, so tired. I completely forgot. Mrs. Winchen is coming to get you. I'm so sorry, sweetie." Jenny said it wasn't a problem and she hung up. But she was secretly extremely worried. Amy had been so tired lately, and she looked very sick. Amy said it was just because she had a lot of morning sickness, but Jenny wasn't so sure.

When Mrs. Winchen pulled into the drive way, Jenny got in and gave her a small smile.

"Thanks for getting me," jenny said.

"Oh, it's no problem, dear. I hope your mother feels better."

"Me too," whispered Jenny.

She came home to find Amy lying on the couch; she was very thin, except for her large belly. Her skin had a yellowish tinge, and Jenny thought she looked so very ill and frail. Mrs. Winchen was standing behind Jenny, holding her shoulders, "It'll be ok," she whispered.

"Call me if you need anything, Amy, really," Mrs. Winchen said, leaving.

Amy nodded, "Thank you so much, Clarissa."

Jenny sat down next to Amy, "Mommy, are you sure you're ok?"

Amy nodded, "I'm just not keeping down enough food, it's ok, really."

"Can I make you something? For the baby?"

"I'd love some mac and cheese," smiled Amy, rubbing her belly, "Oh—I keep getting these sharp pains. It's not labor pains, it's too high up for that, it's something else. But boy, they hurt. It hurts worse when I lie down but I can't stand."

"Oh mommy," Jenny kissed Amy's cheek and went into the kitchen. She boiled whole wheat pasta and called Ricky as the water heated up.

"Ricky?" she whispered very softly.

"Jenny? What's wrong?"

Jenny felt tears pricking at her eyes but she swallowed hard, "I'm worried about Mommy. She's—"

"Me too," Ricky said, cutting her off, "I have one last patient to see and then I'm coming home early. Hang in their, Jen."

"Ok, bye," Jenny hung up and only then whispered "I love you."

When Ricky got home he took one look at Amy and pulled Jenny upstairs.

"I'm going to take her to the hospital. She's so thin, Jenny, you can see her collarbones through her shirt, I'm worried for the baby and I'm worried for her. I think she has jaundice, maybe it's liver disease?"

"Is that treatable?" Jenny asked, her lip trembling.

Ricky nodded, "Yes, very treatable."

They helped Amy to the car and they drove in silence to the hospital.

"Since you said you've been feeling abdominal pain I'm going to do a simple ultrasound to see if anything's amiss. It won't hurt the baby, you've probably gotten ultrasounds already, right?" the doctor asked.

Amy nodded, "I've talked to my gynecologist and my midwives about this already and they thought it was just pregnancy related things."

"it's possible, but let's just be sure," the doctor said.

He squirted jelly onto her abdomen and began to move the probe around.

Jenny, Ricky and Amy could make nothing of the strange blobs appearing, except for the baby, which the doctor pleasantly pointed out. Suddenly, the probe at an odd angle, he paused.

"What? No, that can't be right. Hold on". He paused, the probe on that one spot, staring.

Jenny watched as he dropped it and ran to the phone.

"Get me oncology, stat! This is Dr. Morgan!"


	6. Chapter 6

3 weeks could change a lot of things.

A lot of things.

Jenny was sitting in the nursery, rocking the baby back and forth. Tiny fits curled under Jenny's strong hands. Not so strong now. The past 3 weeks had been hell for Jenny.

She heard a soft knock at the door, "Come in, just be quiet."

Ricky opened the door and smiled at Jenny and Maggie. They named her Margaret after Ricky's foster mother, but were calling her Maggie. She was still soft, pink and new, the kind of baby that is still obviously a miracle and hasn't reached the pain-in-the-butt stage.

"They're sending her home today," Ricky said, not meeting Jenny's eyes, "There's nothing more they can do."

Jenny knew this day would come. She saw it in Amy's eyes when they pronounced her to be a sufferer of pancreatic cancer. It was a one in a million chance, basically, that a woman Amy's age would get it. And she was going to die of it. The chemo hadn't worked. Jenny was young but she was smart.

They were sending her home to die.

"I'm going to pick her up. Can you watch Maggie? Maybe get our room ready? Clean it up, fresh sheets? Maybe lay Maggie in her bassinet so Amy can see her?"

Jenny smiled. Amy hadn't seen the baby since she left the hospital after the emergency C-section. Maggie had to be removed before Amy could start chemo. She knew how upset her mother had been at this news. She had wanted a natural birth so badly, but obviously she wanted her life more.

Jenny clutched the baby close to her as she heard Ricky leave the house. Her sweet little sister. Motherless.

Amy was so thin and frail it was a wonder she had been able to walk up the stairs. She was wearing a soft pink beanie over her smooth bald head. She lay against the white pillow case, her sickly pale skin camouflaged. Her collarbones stuck out so far they seemed to loop together, like two sisters holding hands at the end of the world. Jenny held little Maggie's hand as Amy held her baby.

"She's so beautiful, Jenny. You'll help Ricky take care of her, won't you?" Amy whispered. Jenny didn't say anything, she was too scared of her tears.

John and Samantha came into the room, quietly. They were holding hands.

"Mom," whispered John. Tears tumbled down his face. A 19 year old boy, crying. Jenny hadn't seen him cry since they were little.

"Mom, Samantha and I are getting married," John rushed to his mother.

Amy's eyes widened, "I knew it! I just knew it!" for the first time in 3 weeks Amy gave a genuine smile, "Oh you're getting married!" Samantha sat beside Amy.

"Amy, I know that we're young… but I love your son and seeing how much he loves you and his sisters… I know I couldn't ask for a better man. We want to get married in your backyard, so you can attend."

That evening, Amy was napping with Maggie and John, Samantha and Jenny were sitting in the living room. Samantha was flipping through a bride magazine.

Jenny had something on her mind.

"John, and Samantha, I mean I love Samantha and I'm happy you're getting married but, ohh, are you only doing this so Mommy can see you get married John?"

He and Samantha looked at each other.

"Yes," Samantha whispered, "But we want to be married too."

Jenny burst into sobs and flung herself at Samantha, "Oh no wonder he's marrying you, you're the best woman on earth. You're giving up everything for my mommy." Jenny was embarrassed to be crying like this, but it was just Samantha and John.

Samantha let Jenny curl up in her lap and smoothed her hair gently. "Won't you be my maid of honor, Jenny?"

Sobbing, Jenny knew the only answer was yes.


	7. Chapter 7

One week later

Jenny wheeled Amy outside where they were setting up. She parked the chair in the front row, so she could have a perfect view of John and Samantha. Amy craned her neck and kissed Jenny on the cheek.

"Your dress is beautiful, baby, you'll be a fabulous maid of honor."

Jenny hoped so.

Standing up at the altar beside Samantha, Jenny couldn't help take peeks at Maggie, lying comfortably in Amy's arms. Her bony arms. But wait—the justice was speaking.

"Dearly beloved…"

After the small reception, Amy was carried upstairs to her bed by Ben. He carefully tucked her fragile body into the comforter.

"Where's Ricky? Where's my baby?" Amy asked, groggy. Ben kissed her forehead.

"Downstairs, Amy."

"Okay," Amy rolled over and closed her eyes. Ben squeezed tears out of his eyes and walked to the doorway where Jenny was eavesdropping.

"I miss her, Daddy," Jenny whispered, tears dripping onto her pink bridesmaid dress. Ben hugged Jenny close and she sobbed into his chest.

"She's so tired, all she does is lie there! She's a dead body that breathes and rolls over."

Samantha and John were sitting on the living room couch, still in their gown and tux, respectively. They were going to have a honeymoon later.

"For our one year anniversary," John had said when they were planning the wedding. Jenny knew why; it was incase Amy died.

Jenny could never concentrate in school, she spaced out and only thought of her Mom. One day though, there was a phonecall. Jenny stood up in a trance when the teacher called her name in a cloud of sorrow. She went to the front office, there was her Dad. He gave her that smile she had been expecting. The it's-time-to-say-goodbye smile. Jenny took his hand and they drove home in silence.

Amy lay against the pillows, Maggie lying on her chest, gurgling. She didn't know this was the last time she'd see her Mom. Amy's face looked sunken in, her skin was yellow, her hair in weird tufts.

John and Samantha were there, Samantha holding John's hand. He looked like he was going to cry. Grandma was there too, with Robie and Grandpa. Ricky was watching the scene from the doorway when Jenny and Ben stepped in. Jenny choked back sobs as she watched Amy slide away.

Jenny couldn't go to the funeral. It was too hard. Instead she stayed at home with the baby. She took Maggie onto her lap in the rocking chair and tossed the afghan over them both and held on to that baby and cried her heart out. Maggie was silent. Maybe she knew that her sister needed her silence. It was the best that she, a tiny baby, could do.

"One day," whispered Jenny fiercely, "I'll tell you all about her. She was the best Mom there ever was. She sacrificed everything for her kids. She never even got her own life. And now she never will. I love her so much, Maggie."

Maggie leaned against Jenny and Jenny felt her strong heartbeat against her stomach.

"It's a cycle," Jenny said sarcastically, "teenage girls in this family get stuck with babies."

And with that, Jenny kissed her baby sister's head and leaned back in the chair to rock her baby to sleep.


End file.
